Steve Abhaya (Brooks) – Poetry Prose & Art

Being Itself is a compilation of a particular kind of interior language, written after I got back from India, after enjoying the presence and the awareness of H.W.L. Poonja, who was a teacher I didn’t seek but found. In his presence, I saw another human being speak what I knew to be true. In his presence, I witnessed doubt, that I didn’t know I carried, disappear. I’m not a disciple of his, and he’d be happy to know that, because he sought no disciples. His teaching, called Advaita, is the practice of no practices. These writings are as close to the kind of language that would exist if there were no religion, as far I am able to make them. Papaji said to me, ‘Nobody has ever been able to describe this, but don’t stop trying. You are a writer. Write from the source.’ He meant that I write as one who was not separate from the source, as the source speaking. I saw him speak, not as one speaking about being to others, but as being speaking to being. In his presence, I saw love pouring out toward itself. I’ve never seen that as clearly, in any other human being, before or since, but I believe it is the natural state of our existence and not confined to the people we hold up as teachers, gurus, and masters. If it’s true for anyone, it’s true for everyone.  I have meant this writing as awareness itself speaking to one who is ready to live in his or her own awareness, because that’s how it came to me. That experience has lead me to address myself and the reader as you. This is the writing of one person who is open to his awareness, the same as anyone might be, so you is you, and me, and everyone else.

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Being Itself

Joni is an attempt to tell what it was like to live with a woman whose presence was remarkable to all who knew her or met her. 

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Joni

Fierce Tranquility was written in 1989, after four years of sobriety, when the underlying reality came to the surface. Fierce Tranquility was first called Pick Up the Baby, with the subtitle, Catastrophic Healing, describing the specific and general conditions of the time. Fierce Tranquility was not written about the healing process but from within the moment of healing itself.

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Introduction

Fierce Tranquility

Regina is an attempt to answer the question, “What does it mean to call someone the love of one’s life?” Decades after a much-desired relationship has faded from the scene, questions remain and questions arise. What is the positive side to remorse and regret? What else goes on in the depth of desire and the contemplation of loss, in matters of the heart?

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Opening Pages

Regina

Ordinary Ecstasy was written from November, 1991, to January, 1992, in the Osho International Commune in Pune, India. I was there with Suryo Gardner, a longtime sannyasin of the beloved and notorious guru, Rajneesh, finally called Osho. The ashram became a crucible in our relationship with each other, with the guru, and in our relationship with awareness itself. Osho was her master but not mine. The experience of ordinary ecstasy became the tenor of our life in that remarkable place and time. 

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Ordinary Ecstasy